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Monday, October 24, 2005

why is it...

Today, the girls and I were out pretty much all day. The local home schoolers were meeting at a park and we made the trip out to see what was what. We had extra incentive as part of today's goal was for the teens to start organizing their own things, and my eldest, while technically not a teen, wanted to take part.

Now, we've been exploring where we live fairly thoroughly, but we've never gone out that way. I've discovered I *really* like having access to an LRT system. One train ride, one transfer, one helpful passenger giving us instructions on how to get to the park we needed to get to, and we were there. Thanks to the LRT and perfect connecting times to the bus, it wasn't *too* long, but it's still a bit of a trip. About 45 minutes. We left in the morning and got back just before evening.

Dh is a phone person. He loves talking on the phone. Me, I don't use the phone unless I actually need to call someone, and even then, I find things like email to be more efficient in actually connecting with people. Every morning, while my older daughter has her turn on the computer, Dh phones, and every morning, I'm wondering exactly what he was phoning *for.* He doesn't usually have a reason to phone, but he does anyways. Otherwise, if I'm online, we chat on MSN. This morning, he called twice, even though he knew we had to be ready and leave by a certain time. One of the calls was for him to debate outloud whether he should get me to pack his gym things and drop them off at his office on the way. Then he wanted me to send him some digital pics, etc. etc.

Now, if he needs me to get something done for him because he's at work and can't do it himself, fine. But why is it only one way? We all knew the girls and I would be home after him. He cracked jokes that we'd come home to find him playing Xbox and eating junk food. As we were on our way home, I called ahead to let him know we were enroute. He initially answered the phone very cheerfully and joked with me. Then I mentioned that the kids were telling me they were hungry and thirsty (not knowing how things were at the place we met, I didn't know to bring stuff and didn't have change for the vending machines). Well, his tone immediately dropped, and I knew his mood dropped with it. Right about then, the LRT went underground and I lost my cell phone signal and I wasn't able to call back.

When I got home, Dh was in bed. No food had prepared. He hadn't even gone into the fridge to find the sandwiches that were there. We did find the bowl of junk food he'd been eating while reading a book. As near as I can figure, my mentioning that we were hungry and thirsty depressed him enough to go to bed, which is how he deals with depressed feelings. So the girls and I had a light snack and I started on supper. We've been home for over 2 hours now, and he's still in bed. My eldest did try to go over and talk to him, wanting to tell him about the stuff she'd done, but soon left him to sleep.

So why is it okay for him to keep asking me to do all these things for him, no matter how inconvenient they might be, but just hinting that he do something for us - like feeding us - is asking too much?

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