I'm standing on the crowded train, trying to ignore the slurping, squishy noises from the young couple (late teens, possibly early 20's) sucking face in the corner nearby. The train comes to a stop and an announcement is made, stating that there would be a slight delay. Nearby I hear the young man saying to his paramour...
"What does delay mean? Does that mean, like, late?"
Monday, February 26, 2007
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Sacrifice
Many years ago, in the early days of our marriage, Dh and I talked of having kids. We both had jobs - he in the military, I in the private sector. He made only slightly more money than I did, though when you consider his was a 24 hour a day lifestyle, one could easily say he was paid far less for what was required of him. We both felt it was very important to have a parent at home with any children we had, and he was more than happy to be that parent if I wanted to leave the home for a job.
In the end, life had other plans for us, and I was the one to stay home. It was after our second was born that I was on a parenting message board and the topic of SAHMs came up. A woman rather indignantly posted the question of why is it that women were always the ones to sacrifice their lives and careers to stay home with the kids while men got to go out and have "real" lives.
I have to admit, I was stunned.
You see, I'd never viewed my staying at home with our girls to be a sacrifice on my part. I was the one who got to spend time with these wonderful, if sometimes difficult, children. I was the one to be there when they spoke their first words, took their first steps, feed themselves with spoon or cup for the first time, and numerous other firsts. I was the one who got to watch their eyes light up when some new understanding dawned on them. I got to watch them grow and play and develop into the interesting, intelligent and thoroughly enjoyable people they are today. Yes, there were difficult time - very difficult! But I knew full well that in today's world, the life I was leading was not a sacrifice, but a privilege.
If anyone made any sacrifices, it was my husband. He was the one who left for weeks or months at a time, to come home to a child that had grown so much, but no longer quite remembered who he was. He was the one who pushed and wheedled his way into a college course that technically was closed to new admissions so that he could get a job in the IT industry, after months of being rejected for even the lowest of jobs, sometimes because the companies needed to meet their "quotas" of minorities and females, and as a white male, he just wasn't considered (we didn't know at the time that he was Metis). He was the one who took sometimes less than stellar positions and commuting for many miles, so that we could pay the bills and put food on the table, even when it meant moving again and again.
He was the one who missed out on all those firsts on the girls' lives, because he was at sea, or sitting in an office with people he didn't necessarily want to be with, doing something he didn't necessarily want to be doing. It's not that he didn't like his job - he loves working with computers - but that given the choice between going to work and saying home with me and the kids, he'd rather have been at home.
If anyone made any sacrifices, it was my husband, not me. Especially today, when his health is questionable, he continues to work outside the home because he can bring in an income we can live on, while I continue my role as the SAHM as we home school.
In today's world, it's rare to find one parent, of either gender, at home with the kids. With more and more two income families, children are instead going to someone else for the bulk of the day, whether for childcare or schooling. When asked, I've read that anywhere from 63% to over 80% of women would gladly quit their jobs and stay home with their children, if they felt that option were available. In reading that, I found myself wondering if anyone bothered to ask the men, because most men I know would love to do that same! It turns out, I'm not the only one curious about that. Today in the news, I'm reading about a study that found men were just as likely as women to quite their jobs for family reasons. This is no surprise to me!
It saddens me to think that staying home is viewed as a sacrifice - as if it were some sort of terrible thing to be with our children. I've certainly had people try to convince me of that very thing, unable to understand that I actually *like* being home with my kids. I think it's time more thought was given to the ones who are truly making the sacrifice - the husbands (and, increasingly, wives) who leave hearth and home to work a job so that parents like me can have the privilege of being full time parents to our children.
Kudos to the every day heroes that make this possible.
In the end, life had other plans for us, and I was the one to stay home. It was after our second was born that I was on a parenting message board and the topic of SAHMs came up. A woman rather indignantly posted the question of why is it that women were always the ones to sacrifice their lives and careers to stay home with the kids while men got to go out and have "real" lives.
I have to admit, I was stunned.
You see, I'd never viewed my staying at home with our girls to be a sacrifice on my part. I was the one who got to spend time with these wonderful, if sometimes difficult, children. I was the one to be there when they spoke their first words, took their first steps, feed themselves with spoon or cup for the first time, and numerous other firsts. I was the one who got to watch their eyes light up when some new understanding dawned on them. I got to watch them grow and play and develop into the interesting, intelligent and thoroughly enjoyable people they are today. Yes, there were difficult time - very difficult! But I knew full well that in today's world, the life I was leading was not a sacrifice, but a privilege.
If anyone made any sacrifices, it was my husband. He was the one who left for weeks or months at a time, to come home to a child that had grown so much, but no longer quite remembered who he was. He was the one who pushed and wheedled his way into a college course that technically was closed to new admissions so that he could get a job in the IT industry, after months of being rejected for even the lowest of jobs, sometimes because the companies needed to meet their "quotas" of minorities and females, and as a white male, he just wasn't considered (we didn't know at the time that he was Metis). He was the one who took sometimes less than stellar positions and commuting for many miles, so that we could pay the bills and put food on the table, even when it meant moving again and again.
He was the one who missed out on all those firsts on the girls' lives, because he was at sea, or sitting in an office with people he didn't necessarily want to be with, doing something he didn't necessarily want to be doing. It's not that he didn't like his job - he loves working with computers - but that given the choice between going to work and saying home with me and the kids, he'd rather have been at home.
If anyone made any sacrifices, it was my husband, not me. Especially today, when his health is questionable, he continues to work outside the home because he can bring in an income we can live on, while I continue my role as the SAHM as we home school.
In today's world, it's rare to find one parent, of either gender, at home with the kids. With more and more two income families, children are instead going to someone else for the bulk of the day, whether for childcare or schooling. When asked, I've read that anywhere from 63% to over 80% of women would gladly quit their jobs and stay home with their children, if they felt that option were available. In reading that, I found myself wondering if anyone bothered to ask the men, because most men I know would love to do that same! It turns out, I'm not the only one curious about that. Today in the news, I'm reading about a study that found men were just as likely as women to quite their jobs for family reasons. This is no surprise to me!
It saddens me to think that staying home is viewed as a sacrifice - as if it were some sort of terrible thing to be with our children. I've certainly had people try to convince me of that very thing, unable to understand that I actually *like* being home with my kids. I think it's time more thought was given to the ones who are truly making the sacrifice - the husbands (and, increasingly, wives) who leave hearth and home to work a job so that parents like me can have the privilege of being full time parents to our children.
Kudos to the every day heroes that make this possible.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Apparently, I'm a socialist...
You are Catherine the Great.  You are very intelligent and a socialist. It is very important to you that all people be treated equally in a society. You are able to fully comprehend social problems and you are outspoken when it comes to dealing with them. Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com |
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
a plug
I just have to share this link. Tetes a Claques is one of the funniest sites! If you don't know French, it's well worth having someone who can interpret it for you. The style of animation is rather bizarre - I've never seen it anywhere else - and the humor is gleefully irreverent. I think "Move Your Body" is my favorite now, though Le Camping is still right up there. Les Cadeaux de Noel and Les ti-papoutes are at the top of my list, too. Oh! And La Secretaire!!! What a hoot!
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Just another day on the street...
A few days ago, the kids and I were headed for an afternoon out and about. We were standing in the bus shelter, chatting; Eldest right in the corner opposite the entrance, Youngest standing next to her while I stood directly in front and facing them. A woman, whom I've seen panhandling at this stop before, walked into the shelter, zeroed in on Eldest, almost pushing me aside, and started giving her spiel and a slurred and mumbling voice about wanting 75 cents for whatever. I cut her right off, telling her to stay away from my kids. If she wanted to, she could approach me, but NOT my kids.
Then we got on the bus.
Normally, the girls like to sit in the back corner of the bus. Once corner was occupied, and the other had the sun full in their faces, so they soon moved away. I was sitting in one of the sideways seats near the back, next to them.
The woman in the corner was clearly in rough shape. She seemed to be falling asleep - or passing out - and having a hard time keeping herself upright. I watched her, concerned. It was difficult to judge her condition, though, as her face was hidden almost completely by her hair and a pair of black sunglasses. At one point, she lifted her head up, looked around, and groped for the pole next to me. She staggered up, using the pole to move to a seat directly across from me. She started asking me something, but it was hard to understand her. Eventually, I figured it out.
She was asking for bus fare. On the bus.
She was thoroughly confused about where she was - it seems she'd slept through the stop she meant to get off at. I asked if she was all right and she told me no, and that her "old man" beat her up the night before. She then went back to the corner and seemed to try and sleep again. Before getting off the bus, I talked to the driver, telling him I thought she needed medical attention. Turned out he'd already made a call in to have security to meet him. Before we got on the bus, he'd observed her taking... something. He was guessing crack.
Later on, as the girls and I were walking around the streets, we were accosted by yet another panhandler, begging for money. The other panhandler heading towards us veered away on hearing me say I had no change (I don't normally carry any cash, so I've nothing to give even if I wanted to).
We ended up being in the area long enough to meet with Dh when he was done work. As we were standing at the bus stop, I was telling him about these incidents when, sure enough, another panhandler walks past and starts asking us for money! Dh, already pissed that we'd been harassed so many times in one day, had a rather angry tone in saying no.
It's getting to be that we can't go anywhere on the streets or walkways without being hit up for money by street people. After a while, it really starts to irritate.
On the one hand, I'd love to be able to help people who need it, but I have a hard time with the idea of panhandling. Buskers, I enjoy and will gladly give to if I can (like I mentioned earlier, I rarely have cash of any kind). They, at least, are doing something to earn any money they get, and some are remarkably talented. One can make a decent living as a busker, and I can appreciate that.
But what of the panhandlers? Are they really in need of help? How can you tell the genuine need from the con? One of my former employers, a devout Christian who struggled with what he felt was his duty as a Christian to help, and his desire not to be fleeced or contribute to someone's possible addictions, was approached by a panhandler while he was eating his lunch outside. It just happened that he was there because they were opening a new retail location and he was working on the interior in preparation. So when approached for money, he instead offered the panhandler a job painting the floor.
The panhandler objected, going on about how he had a degree. It seems painting a floor was beneath him, and that he deserved to be paid more than offered. My boss again offered him the job. The panhandler said he'd think about it and left.
He didn't come back.
What can we do?
Then we got on the bus.
Normally, the girls like to sit in the back corner of the bus. Once corner was occupied, and the other had the sun full in their faces, so they soon moved away. I was sitting in one of the sideways seats near the back, next to them.
The woman in the corner was clearly in rough shape. She seemed to be falling asleep - or passing out - and having a hard time keeping herself upright. I watched her, concerned. It was difficult to judge her condition, though, as her face was hidden almost completely by her hair and a pair of black sunglasses. At one point, she lifted her head up, looked around, and groped for the pole next to me. She staggered up, using the pole to move to a seat directly across from me. She started asking me something, but it was hard to understand her. Eventually, I figured it out.
She was asking for bus fare. On the bus.
She was thoroughly confused about where she was - it seems she'd slept through the stop she meant to get off at. I asked if she was all right and she told me no, and that her "old man" beat her up the night before. She then went back to the corner and seemed to try and sleep again. Before getting off the bus, I talked to the driver, telling him I thought she needed medical attention. Turned out he'd already made a call in to have security to meet him. Before we got on the bus, he'd observed her taking... something. He was guessing crack.
Later on, as the girls and I were walking around the streets, we were accosted by yet another panhandler, begging for money. The other panhandler heading towards us veered away on hearing me say I had no change (I don't normally carry any cash, so I've nothing to give even if I wanted to).
We ended up being in the area long enough to meet with Dh when he was done work. As we were standing at the bus stop, I was telling him about these incidents when, sure enough, another panhandler walks past and starts asking us for money! Dh, already pissed that we'd been harassed so many times in one day, had a rather angry tone in saying no.
It's getting to be that we can't go anywhere on the streets or walkways without being hit up for money by street people. After a while, it really starts to irritate.
On the one hand, I'd love to be able to help people who need it, but I have a hard time with the idea of panhandling. Buskers, I enjoy and will gladly give to if I can (like I mentioned earlier, I rarely have cash of any kind). They, at least, are doing something to earn any money they get, and some are remarkably talented. One can make a decent living as a busker, and I can appreciate that.
But what of the panhandlers? Are they really in need of help? How can you tell the genuine need from the con? One of my former employers, a devout Christian who struggled with what he felt was his duty as a Christian to help, and his desire not to be fleeced or contribute to someone's possible addictions, was approached by a panhandler while he was eating his lunch outside. It just happened that he was there because they were opening a new retail location and he was working on the interior in preparation. So when approached for money, he instead offered the panhandler a job painting the floor.
The panhandler objected, going on about how he had a degree. It seems painting a floor was beneath him, and that he deserved to be paid more than offered. My boss again offered him the job. The panhandler said he'd think about it and left.
He didn't come back.
What can we do?
Sunday, January 28, 2007
I'm Superman! LOL
You are Superman
| You are mild-mannered, good, strong and you love to help others.  |
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Playboy Preschoolers
Today the girls and I were out and about with a friend and her kids. As we were talking about the joys and challenges of kids, it came up that things have changed so much for kids today compared to when we were growing up. Life is a lot more complicated and harder for them in many ways. Granted, we side-step a lot of this because we home school, but we still see it.
As we were discussing why this sort of change came about, my friend brought up how incredibly sexualized our children are made out to be today. Examples included an ad. featuring young teens for a birth control pill that put having sex on the same level as going swimming, biking, shopping, etc. Other things like sales of thong underwear - for 8 yr olds! - and parenting magazines with articles about the latest "hot" new look for kindergardeners.
As we were talking, a woman walked by (wearing a low-cut tunic sweater, pants and CFM boots) with her daughter, who looked to be perhaps 5 yrs old. The kid was wearing a Playboy bunny t-shirt.
WTF!!!
I suppose I should be glad the kid was in comfortable, otherwise ordinary clothes. Far better than the poor kids dressed up in crop tops, low riders and heels. But Playboy???? I don't know what was more shocking to me - that there even was such a thing as a child's t-shirt with the Playboy logo on it, or that any sane parent would have their kid wearing one. I mean, at that age, you can't say that the kid begged Mama for it. When they're that young, they really don't care. It's Mom and Dad that's dressing them.
One of the complaints Eldest has about finding clothes is that clothes for kids her age are, at best trendy pap or, at worst totally obscene. Where did anyone get the idea that dressing kids like porn stars was a good thing? And why do parents buy this stuff?
Yeah, sure, when the kids are older, they're often buying their own things. There's also the fact that this crap is aggressively marketed to them. Ultimately, though, it's up to the parents, and sometimes telling your kids "no" is exactly what they need to hear.
Or better still, some of these parents need to stop dressing their pre-schoolers as if they were dollish extensions of themselves.
As we were discussing why this sort of change came about, my friend brought up how incredibly sexualized our children are made out to be today. Examples included an ad. featuring young teens for a birth control pill that put having sex on the same level as going swimming, biking, shopping, etc. Other things like sales of thong underwear - for 8 yr olds! - and parenting magazines with articles about the latest "hot" new look for kindergardeners.
As we were talking, a woman walked by (wearing a low-cut tunic sweater, pants and CFM boots) with her daughter, who looked to be perhaps 5 yrs old. The kid was wearing a Playboy bunny t-shirt.
WTF!!!
I suppose I should be glad the kid was in comfortable, otherwise ordinary clothes. Far better than the poor kids dressed up in crop tops, low riders and heels. But Playboy???? I don't know what was more shocking to me - that there even was such a thing as a child's t-shirt with the Playboy logo on it, or that any sane parent would have their kid wearing one. I mean, at that age, you can't say that the kid begged Mama for it. When they're that young, they really don't care. It's Mom and Dad that's dressing them.
One of the complaints Eldest has about finding clothes is that clothes for kids her age are, at best trendy pap or, at worst totally obscene. Where did anyone get the idea that dressing kids like porn stars was a good thing? And why do parents buy this stuff?
Yeah, sure, when the kids are older, they're often buying their own things. There's also the fact that this crap is aggressively marketed to them. Ultimately, though, it's up to the parents, and sometimes telling your kids "no" is exactly what they need to hear.
Or better still, some of these parents need to stop dressing their pre-schoolers as if they were dollish extensions of themselves.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)